Question: Why should you never talk to Pi? Answer: Because she’ll go on and on and on forever.
Question: Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5? Answer: Because they can’t even.
Question: Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper? Answer: She’s definitely plotting something.
Question: What do you call a number that just can’t keep still? Answer: A roamin’ numeral.
Question: Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common? Answer: Because they’ll never meet.
Question: Are monsters good at math? Answer: Not unless you Count Dracula.
Question: What’s the best way to woo a math teacher? Answer: Use acute angle.
Question: Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? Answer: He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Question: How come old math teachers never die? Answer: They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Question: My girlfriend is the square root of -100. Answer: She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Question: How do you stay warm in any room? Answer: Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Question: Did you hear the one about the statistician. Answer: Probably.
Question: What’s the best way to serve pi? Answer: A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Question: A farmer counted 297 cows in the field. Answer: But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Question: Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river? Answer: It was three feet deep on average.
Question: Why doesn’t calculus throw major house parties? Answer: Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drink and derive.
Question: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip? Answer: To get to the same side.
Question: Why do math teachers love parks so much? Answer: Because of all the natural logs.
Question: How do you do math in your head? Answer: Just use imaginary numbers.
Question: Why was the math lecture so long? Answer: The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Question: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Question: Why are math books so darn depressing? Answer: They’re literally filled with problems.
Question: Why does algebra make you a better dancer? Answer: Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Question: What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own? Answer: A pi-thon.
Question: What’s the best place to do math homework? Answer: On a multiplication table.
Question: How do you get from point A to point B? Answer: Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Question: Seven is an odd number.How do you make it even? Answer: Just remove the “s.”
Question: Where do mathematicians like to party? Answer: In bar graphs.